Lee Geez

Under the skin film review, It’s….. Babylon City! yes Yes yes – in this review, there be plenty of babylons to be seen and with a very special guest motorboater, so watch out for him

Warning this is this is a spoiler review that contains dark childish sexual humour so bottle up buttercups and a little celeb roasting. You’ve been warned.

So Under the Skin was written and the director Jonothon Double Glazing, has done films like Birth and sexy beast! It took him about 10 years to write under the skin apparently or more likely 10 years trying to convince Scarlett to get naked

Anyway this film stars Scarlett ILIKEHERALOT and manwhohadamotorcycle accident Adam seenscarlettspears.

Sidenote, did you know that Scarlet and her team went around Edinburgh and actually tried to seduce real men (not actors) to get in her van? And a lot of them did! I bet that would work for us men as well, might try that out sometime

So let’s Recap and it is a spoiler review

So there’s an Alien on Earth that has camouflaged herself in human skin, and she is really fucking weird really acting weird! maybe she had a bad upbringing, check her scene out

No not that crazy woman this one

So this alien basically starts going around learning the female human way, she learns about being beautiful with makeup and stuff, learns how to talk to men, learns how to be sexy, learns how to seduce men and make men grovel at her feet

Then she goes around in a Scooby-Doo van and starts picking men up really easily to bring back to her place and get undressed and they think they’re going to have sex with her

but instead, they are walking in this slow broth while chasing her and they slowly drown and become energy for the other aliens and they leave their own skin as well so other aliens can use it.

but over time, this alien starts feeling different to the human race and starts to wonder what it is actually like to be them

so she starts to run away from her fellow alien leaders and discovers who she thinks she is which is a bit confusing by trying to eat cake in which these aliens don’t consume their prey that way

anyways she ends up on a hiking path alone in the middle of the woods and some block tries to rape her but tears the skin off her realising she is an alien, he kills her with fire

end of the film

And I’ll stop the recap right there cause I’ve already spoilt it for you. I did warn you so let us do the

Negatives of under-the-skin film review

This film is a very slow burner and I am not really keen on this sort of film, think Space Odyssey 2001 but not set in space

it is set in Edinburgh and I don’t get their language, it is like listening to a fat bastard talk about what he likes to eat all the time

I don’t like part of the story when the men walk into this black goo to chase after this desired woman

if that was me – ill be having really bad second thoughts and turning back and shouting… woohhh not on the first date you kinky bitch maybe we can try this sort of shit on the 2nd date

I think this film is more complex and aimed at today’s women about beauty, it is more of a political statement film which is absolutely fine and I agree with it but it is not what I want in a sci-fi film about sci-fi not about what we are as a shit attention seeking pile of pooh.

Or is this film saying that all women are bitches underneath their skin and lure us stupid men into a false sense of security either way what the directors trying to pitch, I think it is just too too too deep of a political story

Positives of Under Skin Film Review

Well you get to see Scarlett ……think name Babylons, bazookas and her fabulous fandango, Let’s quickly check them out with our special motorboater of the week dah dah dah

The movie score, even though is a bit weird, I really do like it and suits this film to a tee

Scarlet Witches does not have much to say in this film but her facial and body language says a lot, She is like a Tom very hardy with breasts, great acting on her behalf

The directors’ style is really well done and loved some of the cinematography

Overall of under the skin film review

Under the skin is a slow boring slug face trying to teach us all that beauty is below the skin or not and I totally agree with what the story is trying to tell us, I really do.

especially in today’s world as we see very attractive young girls that start to have Botox, lip fillers, breast enlargements and so on and so on but if you going to try and tell girls this, I don’t think sci-fi alien movie is the way to go, I might be wrong

anyways I wasn’t on the edge of my seat engaging in this film

but for me, this film is not a masterpiece whatsoever, neither was it shit

This film just wasn’t for me in the long run as I mean it is defo worth streaming or watching once and I don’t think I’ll watch it again for another 20 years if I’m still alive and bored – I recommend just streaming this movie if you are a little bit bored

That’s why I’m giving it a Geez this movie is pure cheese

It’s a 2 out of 5

just because I probs won’t ever watch it again but it is okay to watch it once

Did you like Under the Skin more than me or did you hate it, I would love to know your expertise so comment below with your cheese

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